Court Says Damon Dash Can’t Sell NFT of Jay-Z’s First Album… For Now – Gizmodo

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Illustration for article titled Court Says Damon Dash Can’t Sell NFT of Jay-Z’s First Album... For Now

Photo: Frederick M. Brown (Getty Images)

Jay-Z’s debut studio album can’t be sold as an NFT, TMZ reported on Tuesday, with a court issuing a temporary ruling that Roc-A-Fella co-founder Damon Dash must call off the sale and halt any planned auctions in the future. And…

I must take a break from our normal coverage to talk about investigative reporting organization Project Veritas, a group of proud, MAGA patriots who I have coincidentally been attempting to email for the last several hours.

Project Veritas works with whistleblowers all across the country to expose liberal liars, catfish random tech workers, heroically mess with media organizations, pose with guns in the snow, and occasionally plot to have a girl get a national security adviser loaded in the hopes he’d ramble directly into a hidden microphone. In the past week, two local TV reporters (the totally normally named Ivory Hecker and April Moss) broke from doing their jobs to declare their allegiances to the organization live on-air and inform viewers they’ll be working with Project Veritas to uncover behind-the-scenes banal business and editorial decisions corruption at their stations. If I had Project Veritas’s support and promise of financial incentives, something I assume I do after sending all those lengthy emails, I could finally join that honored lineage and discuss how Gizmodo management has worked to permanently shadowban me from telling THE TRUTH.

That truth is this: A massive conspiracy is afoot. A conspiracy to illegally discriminate against me telling you, the public, how President Donald J. Trump is planning to revalue the Iraqi dinar to pre-Gulf War levels.

That’s right. Donald J. Trump is still president. He’s planning to revalue the Iraqi dinar to pre-Gulf War levels. Just think. Why wouldn’t Gizmodo want me to tell you this?

The current exchange rate of the Iraqi dinar to U.S. dollars is one dinar for $0.00068 (or whatever, I googled it). Before the Gulf War, the Iraqi dinar could be exchanged for over $3. That means when President Donald J. Trump revalues the Iraqi dinar to pre-Gulf War levels—something he can do with a simple stroke of his pen, as a special reward for his most loyal supporters—every Iraqi dinar you currently hold will be worth over 4,441% more.

Of course, Gizmodo wouldn’t want me to tell you about this. They used every excuse in the book, or at least a Google Doc they won’t tell me about. “The Iraqi Dinar has nothing to do with tech,” they would say one minute. The next minute they’d turn around and say, “The Iraqi Dinar is an even bigger Ponzi scheme than Piss Coin.” That second explanation made it clear they’re in the pocket of Big Piss Coin, but that only scratched the surface of what I’d find.

Sure, you could achieve similar levels of instant, get-rich-quick return by investing in Piss Coin, which only goes up and never down. But Gizmodo won’t tell you that all currency is now a form of technology and thus the imminent revaluation of the Iraqi dinar to pre-Gulf War levels is the biggest story in technology today.

Find out more and purchase dinars with just a 20% processing fee at: www.donaldjtrumpwillrevaluetheiraqidinartopregulfwarlevels.blogspot/donaldjtrumpwillrevaluetheiraqidinartopregulfwarlevels/

I’d like to thank Project Veritas and James O’Keefe for, what I assume, upfront, will be their generous assistance in exposing Gizmodo for the “President Donald J. Trump will revalue the Iraqi dinar to pre-Gulf War levels” denialists they are. If it wasn’t for James, then I never would have had the idea to secretly record our fake news “interim editor-in-chief” (fake title), Andrew Couts, admitting he doesn’t even know what the Iraqi dinar is at all.

Illustration for article titled Court Says Damon Dash Can’t Sell NFT of Jay-Z’s First Album... For Now

Screenshot: Gizmodo

I couldn’t believe it either, but that’s the liberal mainstream unreadable corrupt broken loser take-God-out-of-tech coastal elite New York media for you. Most of my sicko colleagues won’t even address me by name anymore, electing instead to use anti-whistleblower insults like “chud,” “Dinar clown,” or even “Forex scammer.” They’ve even threatened to force me to go to some kind of left-wing ideological reeducation camp and attend a so-called “financial literacy seminar.” It’s why I’m also planning my move to an organization without left-wing media overlords yelling about Fake News Media things like “standards” or “accuracy.” An organization like pro-Trump network Newsmax or its less-handsome-but-still-a-proud-American counterpart One America News.

Tune into Project Veritas tomorrow for my whole story, I hope—things move fast these days.

If you’d like to help me fight back, I will be accepting donations via my “Fund Gizmodo Truth” campaign on the Christian fundraising site GiveSendGo. I do this reluctantly, and all funds will only be used for the sole purpose of personally enriching myself. U.S. currency only, please. No Iraqi dinars.

Shout out to April Moss, may our paths of courage cross someday.

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